


Riverbend

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-31
Updated: 1998-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 11:24:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11334729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: This story describes past abuse by a sexual partner.





	Riverbend

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Riverbends by T. Taggart

Riverbends  
T. Taggart  
  
Warnings: This story contains explicit m/m sex. If that's not what you're looking for, go back. Endless websites exist. Find one to your taste.  
FURTHER WARNING - this story describes past abuse by a sexual partner.  
Mulder/ Skinner NC-17. Equal parts angst, romance and sex. Some violence.  
OK to archive to MSSS.  
Many thanks to my beta readers Carl and SpookyBear for their edits, comments and encouragement.  
Notes: Timeframe is Season 5, after Emily and before Kill Switch. SPOILERS for Emily, Grotesque and Anasazi. References to other eps, but nothing that would count as a spoiler.  
Disclaimer: Scully, Mulder and Skinner (and Bill Patterson) aren't mine. They're running loose through this bit of fanfic, but they still belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No copyright infringement intended.  
Feedback: Yes, I'd like some of this at . Let me know what works and what doesn't. 

* * *

Riverbends  
T. Taggart

     It's time to go again  
     To your blue room  
     Got some questions to ask of you  
     In your blue room

     The air is clean  
     Your skin is clear  
     I've had enough fun hanging 'round here  
     It's a different kind of conversation  
     Your blue room

     A new frame, a new perspective  
     Looking down on my objectives  
     Your instructions whatever their directions  
     Your blue room

-Passengers (Brian Eno and U2)

\------------------------------------------------

FBI Headquarters  
Washington, D.C.

Skinner closed the file on Emily and frowned. He didn't like what he was seeing in this report. His fingertips lightly brushed the red and white jacket as he reflected on this latest development. Aside from the additional evidence that some sort of covert medical experiments were being conducted on the American populace, Skinner was concerned about the relationship between his two wayward agents.

He opened the file again and reread the end of the report, this one written by Mulder. "Agent Scully chose to remain alone with her daughter until the child's death."

Skinner felt his chest tighten just a little. Not in empathy for Scully's loss or at the death of the child who had had so many strikes against her before she was even born, but for Mulder. As tragic as the situation was for Scully, he saw a more subtle loss for Mulder. "Scully chose to remain alone..." Meaning she had shut Mulder out at a time when he needed to give.

He didn't blame Scully. In fact, he understood her motivations completely. Their personalities were very similar. Privately, he thought she would someday be sitting where he was right now. But like him, she could be rigid in her thinking, and she had a need to know that she was self-reliant in any situation, that she could face any circumstance on her own. He understood all that and he didn't blame Scully for pushing Mulder away.

But he also was beginning to understand Mulder. Not in the intuitive way he related to Scully but in a way that came from years of observation, from reading the X-file reports. Mulder had been a complete mystery to him at first. Brilliant, passionate, recalcitrant, charming, intense, flirtatious. Skinner had been fascinated by this agent who had deliberately derailed his fast-track bureau career to chase fringe cases and generate reports which read like science fiction. 

Although he still wouldn't claim to comprehend Mulder, he did realize how much this rejection of Scully's must have hurt. He didn't think he was reading too deeply between the lines to see how often Mulder had offered support, real understanding and support, to people only to have it thrown back in his face because they wouldn't, or couldn't, accept it. And now he had to add Scully to the list.

Skinner checked his watch. 8PM, Friday night. He picked up his coat and prepared to leave but Emily's file pulled at him again. Skinner sighed. He needed to look in on Mulder. Just see for himself that his agent was doing okay.

\------------------------------------------------

Mulder was sitting behind his desk flicking through TV channels with the sound muted. He was thinking in parts about Emily and Scully, how the pharmaceutical company fit into the bigger conspiracy picture and whether he should stop for takeout before going home tonight. 

He dropped his feet from the desk to the floor in surprise as Skinner knocked and entered the office. 

"Sir, please." he half rose and gestured to one of the extra chairs in the room "I didn't realize you were working late tonight."

"I'm heading out soon." Skinner ignored the chairs and came around to lean against the desk next to where Mulder was sitting. "I finished reading your report on Emily." 

Mulder nodded, then angrily shot the pencil he'd been fiddling with across the room toward the trash can. 

Another death, he thought. He took a deep breath and concentrated on not looking at the way Skinner's slacks had pulled tight across his legs when he leaned against the desk. "Did you have a question about something in the report, sir?"

Skinner crossed his arms over his chest, unsure how to begin. This was more difficult than he'd imagined. "I wanted to see how you were doing. How you and Scully were doing."

Mulder stood to pace. Skinner's presence and the subject matter of the conversation were making him restless. "Scully's mad at me. I've known for awhile now that," he expelled a breath, "that something like this could happen. I knew they were possibly harvesting her eggs, stolen from her during her abduction." Mulder stopped pacing and looked at Skinner. "I never told her, and now she's mad at me."

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"By the time I found out about the cloning her cancer had been diagnosed and she was becoming so ill. It was another violation, another circumstance over which she had no control, another loss that could never be recovered. I thought I was protecting her."

Skinner had followed him out from behind the desk and was standing close again. Mulder could see the broad shoulders and strong chest out of the corner of his eye. He was never comfortable with the way Skinner's ever-direct gaze could make him feel so vulnerable and at the same time make him want to burrow into that strength.

"You were protecting her Mulder."

Mulder stared at the floor, not believing. Skinner moved closer and caught Mulder's chin in his hand forcing Mulder to look him in the eye. "You *were* protecting her. Same as when Scully shot you. She did that to protect you. What you did was no different. She knows that. Just give her some time."

Skinner was right, Mulder realized. He'd gotten so wrapped up in his guilt he'd forgotten why he'd withheld the information in the first place. Skinner was right. Sometimes you had to make decisions on behalf of your partner, had to trust your partner to make decisions for you. Scully would understand that.

Mulder closed his eyes as a little pebble of tension and sadness in his chest melted away. Skinner was still holding his chin and without thinking Mulder turned his head and dropped a kiss into the palm. "Thank you."

Skinner stiffened and Mulder realized belatedly what he'd done. He tried to step away, dread thundering through him but Skinner caught the back of his neck pulling him forward instead. Skinner looked at him for a long moment then raised his other hand and gently ran his fingers over Mulder's face, tracing cheekbone and brow, exploring. Mulder stood still, heart racing first with fear at what he'd done, then with surprise and arousal at the tender caress.

The first several seconds of the kiss didn't even register it was so unexpected. Mulder felt the pressure of lips, breathed in Skinner's scent, absorbed the warmth of Skinner's body as it made contact with his. He wanted to concentrate on each sensation individually, but they invaded simultaneously and Mulder stood immobile as his brain sorted through them all. Skinner's lips continued to move patiently over his, inviting him to open up and return the caress. Mulder's knees gave out at the same time he opened his mouth and moaned into Skinner's. They both would have fallen if the desk hadn't been directly behind the AD to take their weight. Skinner leaned against it and drew the young man between his legs. 

Mulder felt Skinner's arms come around him tightly, supporting him. Large hands roamed his back, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Hard, Mulder thought. Not just the length of Skinner's cock swelling against his own but everything - the legs surrounding him, the chest and stomach he was pressed against, the back he had finally begun exploring, tentatively, with his own hands. He let out another quiet moan and pressed closer, reveling in the hardness. The only soft part of Skinner was his lips, Mulder realized as he felt them cover his face, return to his mouth for a brief exploration and then feather off along his jaw.

Mulder followed the lips, parting his own and capturing them, taking control of the kiss. He moved his tongue into Skinner's mouth and explored. When he prodded at Skinner's tongue, encouraging it to play, Skinner responded expertly. Their mouths separated as tongues extended and curled over each other, touching tips then sliding farther back. Mulder worked his way past Skinner's lips again, tasting. O god, it had been so long since...

"No!" The word rang through the office and it took Skinner a moment to realize it had come from Mulder. The young man pushed away from him and backed across the room. The AD straightened from the desk and Mulder backed up even further, raising a hand as if to hold him off. "No." he repeated.

"Okay, easy." Skinner murmured. He tried to put some order to the chaos in his head as he instinctively calmed an obviously frightened Mulder. The kiss had been an unplanned surprise for him too, but that didn't explain why Mulder was now standing across the small room looking as if he were trying not to flee altogether. He was also holding his left arm rather awkwardly against his body.

"Easy Mulder, that caught me off guard too." He considered the most likely reason for Mulder's abrupt retreat. "It wasn't my intention to impose something unwelcome on you."

Mulder dropped his hand. He didn't come any closer but he seemed calmer. Skinner continued. "I particularly apologize if I've misread your" he hesitated, "preferences. That was completely out of line." Long pause. Waiting. Wanting Mulder to say something. A nauseous feeling quickly dousing the ache in his lower body. He had obviously seriously misjudged the younger agent. Or, more likely, had just forced him to acknowledge an unwanted desire.

Mulder had calmed considerably and was cautiously approaching the chair in front of the desk. Skinner backed off to give him room. His legs felt a little weak, and he was very much afraid if he held his hands out in front of him, they would be trembling. 

Mulder sat down in the chair and rubbed his hands over his face. "No sir." he glanced quickly up at Skinner. "You didn't misread my, uh, preferences. And the kiss wasn't unwelcome, just unexpected." Skinner relaxed visibly and Mulder didn't speak for some time, as if considering his words. He didn't look at Skinner again. "I just don't think it's very appropriate, what with you being my supervisor and all."

Skinner didn't think that was the whole story. And that last statement had sounded so unlike Mulder that the lie in it was obvious. Whatever had caused Mulder to back away hadn't been a sudden awareness of the proprieties of the situation. Something had scared him. But Skinner wasn't going to push Mulder on it tonight. He needed to think about what had just happened himself. 

"Mulder..."

"You don't need to apologize again, sir. Really. I'm just going to finish up a couple things here before going home." Mulder spoke quickly, obviously trying for a reassuring "I'm okay" look.

"Alright. Don't stay too late." Skinner pulled the door closed behind him as he left and leaned against the wall next to it. When he didn't hear any sounds coming from the office after a few minutes, he moved on down the hall.

Mulder drew his legs up against himself and rested his head on his knees. He closed his eyes and relived what had just happened, trying to make the memory as clear as possible. Not the ugly one, but before that, when Skinner had entered the office, their conversation. He breathed evenly, allowing himself be soothed again as he felt Skinner caressing his face. 

Then Skinner kissing him, kissing *him*. He recalled the tastes and textures, the varying pressures of Skinner's mouth, cataloguing them. He mentally inventoried Skinner's body as it had felt against his, knowing he would draw on these memories often in the future. It had felt so good to be held like that, to feel that strong, masculine body against his, to run his hands along the slim hips and broad back. After awhile, he shut down the computer and TV and closed up the office for the weekend.

\------------------------------------------------

From his car in the parking lot of the JEH building Skinner watched Mulder approach his own vehicle. He was relieved to see the agent looked fine. It had only been an hour since he'd departed Mulder's office. The AD considered following Mulder to make sure he made it home then discarded the idea. Mulder would likely pick up on the tail and Skinner figured another confrontation between the two of them tonight would be incredibly awkward, to say the least. 

Having thought for the last hour about what had occurred between them, Skinner had convinced himself of two things. First, that the reason Mulder had ended the kiss had little to do with their professional relationship. The younger man had ended the kiss out of fear. Secondly, that he was more than just sexually attracted to the younger agent. He had been conscious, at times uncomfortably conscious, of his physical reaction to Mulder since first seeing him eight years ago. But at some point since working with him during the past few years, the attraction had become based on something more than just hormones. He also finally acknowledged to himself that whatever he felt toward Mulder, it was something much, much more than the innate protectiveness he felt for the other agents under his command.

\------------------------------------------------

FBI Headquarters  
Two Weeks later  
3 PM

Skinner made notes in the margin of the report he was reading and waited for Mulder and Scully to report to his office for the second time that day. They had been out in the field for most of the past two weeks and had spent the morning giving him a verbal status report on their investigations. Although there had been some weird vibes between the two of them, he didn't sense any real animosity and was relieved that they seemed to have solidified their relationship.

A brief knock on the door and Scully and Mulder entered the room. Skinner looked up as they came in. "Please, sit down. Thank you for coming up here again."

The two agents looked at him expectantly as they seated themselves. The sunlight coming through the windows caught Scully's hair, styled now with a very chic cut, and Skinner smiled to himself in satisfaction at how healthy she looked. Mulder, as usual, looked pale and although he was sitting still, Skinner got the impression that he was fidgety. 

He mentally braced himself before starting, unsure what the reactions from the two agents in front of him would be to his news. "I received a phone call this afternoon from Maryland State Psychiatric Center. Bill Patterson committed suicide this morning."

Mulder's reaction and the covering of it was so fast Skinner could almost tell himself he'd imagined it. An impression of wide-eyed, immobile fright, then nothing. He'd clenched a fist and then retreated - somewhere - wherever he went in his head when he didn't want people to know what he was thinking. Had Skinner not seen an extended version of that fright two weeks ago, he'd never have detected the ghost of it here. 

Scully had gone completely icy, something he hadn't known redheads could do until he met her. He could feel the intense hostility roiling under that ice. Skinner was fairly sure, however, the hostility wasn't directed at him. 

"Given your history with the man, I didn't want either of you to find out from bullpen gossip."

No response from his agents. They both looked like they wanted to leave.

"Funeral arrangements are being made for this Saturday. I know..."

Mulder stood and interrupted with a pretty good imitation of Skinner's jaw clenched diction. "Don't expect me to pay respects to the death of a man I didn't respect in life. The Bureau may have chosen to make a martyr of him, hold him up as some twisted example of 'service before self'. But you will never make me believe that his crimes were in any way pardonable." Without excusing himself, Mulder turned and left the room. The door clicked gently after him but it might as well have been slammed.

Skinner looked back to Scully. She looked neither surprised nor apologetic at Mulder's outburst. 

He tried to piece together what was happening. Patterson. Given Agent Mulder's reaction just now and what little he'd seen of Mulder's interaction with the former FBI agent on the Mostow case, he concluded that the two had likely had a personal relationship outside the Bureau at one time. A relationship that accounted for Mulder's disproportionately strong reaction to the man. Maybe the subordinate issue hadn't been a complete lie on Mulder's part. But how did his sudden - and hidden - terror fit in?

"Agent Scully, I don't want this to throw Mulder into a tailspin. There's too much going on for him to be distracted by Patterson's death. This type of distraction can be dangerous."

"Sir, it's been my observation that Agent Mulder can focus very well under any circumstances when working a case."

Skinner stared at Scully. She returned his look. She knew he was asking her to reveal whatever personal knowledge she had of Mulder and Patterson's relationship. The staring contest continued for a long minute. 

"Scully, I understand your reluctance. My reasons for asking are personal. This isn't anything I'm going to make a Bureau matter."

Scully continued to hold Skinner's gaze while she evaluated her options. It wasn't that she didn't trust Skinner. She'd just rather have a clear understanding of what his motivations were. The assistant director seemed to function in a gray area she didn't completely understand. Only during the last couple months had she begun entertaining the notion that he often masked the reasons for his actions as a protection to Mulder and her.

Her boss was protective of Mulder and, in her opinion, extremely tolerant of their investigations. Instinct told her the tolerance would extend to Mulder's life outside the Bureau. Sharing a personal confidence went against the grain, but if Skinner was right about her partner's reaction, she was going to need some help keeping Mulder tethered to the earth. Still, the AD was going to have to work to get the information he wanted. Scully discreetly ground her teeth and spoke.

"I'm working on an article for the Journal of Cell Biology on the physiological changes Agent Mulder and I underwent aboard the U.S.S. Ardent. In connection with research for the article, I requested that copies of our medical files be released to me and have been reviewing them here in the office. Over the last couple days, I've been struck by how often Agent Mulder and I have required medical attention since working X-file cases. Our prior medical histories consisted of little more than annual physicals. Hospital records started appearing shortly before Agent Mulder opened his first X-file."

Skinner rolled his pen between his fingers and stared some more at Scully. Had she just given him an answer? Or was she ignoring his request by changing the subject? "Thank you Agent Scully. That will be all."

\------------------------------------------------

8:30 PM

Skinner sat at Scully's desk and stared at the brightly colored labels on the file. It had only taken him a moment to figure out the medical tabbing system and locate Mulder's earlier files. Scully hadn't exaggerated, they'd received a lot of medical treatment the last few years. Between the two of them, their medical records took up an entire file cabinet, the key to which Scully had, thoughtfully?, left in the bowl of paperclips on her desk.

If he was to believe Scully, he was looking for an entry in '89 or '90. An entry which would somehow connect Mulder to Patterson. He found it, as Scully said, not long after Mulder had been given approval by the Bureau to start the X-file division. The agent had been treated at D.C. General for injuries he'd received in what he'd reported to be a fight in a nightclub parking lot. Skinner scanned the ER report.

"Patient arrived via Metro, ambulatory, lucid with no apparent trauma to the head...extensive bruising to torso, swollen lip, nose bloodied but not broken, abrasions to both wrists...left arm broken in two places-hairline fracture of the radius and simple fracture of the humerus... deep bruising on the left thigh...treated and advised to remain overnight...patient released himself against advice of the treating physician." 

Patterson. Somehow Patterson had been responsible for Mulder's condition. He recalled the way Mulder had been holding his arm against himself when he'd broken away from the kiss. Skinner's lips thinned. His beautiful, young agent. Skinner quietly replaced the file and returned the key to the paperclip bowl.

Now he just had to get Mulder to trust him with the whole story, see if he would be willing to begin building a relationship from there.

\------------------------------------------------

Potomac Overlook Park  
Saturday  
1 PM

Skinner sat on the hood of his car, feet resting on the bumper, and looked out over the rolling green carpet of grass between him and the Potomac. The park was filling up quickly today. DC was experiencing an unseasonably warm winter. Small pockets of friendly competition were starting to fill the lawn. A couple touch football games, a few people tossing Frisbees or passing a soccer ball. 

"Been waiting long, sir?" Mulder walked up behind him, gym bag slung over his shoulder.

"Not long." He looked wonderful, Skinner thought. Knowing the sunglasses he wore hid his eyes, he allowed himself the luxury of staring, of drinking in the sight of the younger man. They were dressed almost identically in running shoes, grey jersey shorts and t-shirts. Mulder's shirt looked like it was made out of some type of soft, high-tech wicking material. The breeze off the river lifted his hair and pressed the shirt against him, molding to the gentle swell of pectorals and outlining the tight nubs of his nipples. 

Skinner caught his breath. God, his plan today better work, or he was going to go insane.

Mulder looked out over the park, squinting against the sunlight. "I've never run down here before."

"I workout here most weekends. Usually an eight mile loop."

Mulder toed the curb Skinner had parked against. "Why'd you ask me out here, sir?"

//Because I didn't want you sitting alone in your apartment thinking about Patterson during his funeral. Because I've replayed that kiss in your office a thousand times. Because I want to know what scared you. If *I* scare you. Because I want to hear you moan into my mouth again, hear you moan into a pillow while I'm buried deep inside you.// "Because I wanted some company."

\------------------------------------------------

Skinner concentrated on keeping his shoulders loose while he increased speed up the last hill of the run. He could hear Mulder just behind him to the left, breathing heavily but not painfully. They had agreed on a 8-minute per mile pace, which was demanding but not exhausting. 

Skinner was enjoying the run. As he'd hoped, it was serving well as a way to work off some tension. Mulder had quickly relaxed into the pace and apparently didn't feel the need to turn every athletic outing into a competition. They slowed to a walk as they returned to their starting point, stepping off the path to pace and bring their heart rates back down. "I'm going to stretch up on the grass."

Skinner nodded in agreement and the two grabbed their gym bags from where they'd left them parked under a tree near the trail. They located an empty expanse of lawn and spent a few minutes stretching in comfortable silence, relaxing under the sun. Skinner replaced the t-shirt he was wearing with a dry sweatshirt from his gym bag and wondered how to bring up the subject of Patterson. He'd deliberately chosen the park as a place to talk, hoping that the open space and presence of other people would prevent Mulder from feeling trapped. In the end, Mulder brought the subject up himself.

"I don't usually freak out when I'm kissed." Mulder was looking out at the river, arms resting on his knees as he sat drinking occasionally from the liter of Gatorade he'd brought. 

Skinner rolled onto his back next to Mulder and propped himself onto his elbows. When he didn't respond Mulder looked back at him with a wry smile. "That's why I'm out here isn't it? You wanted to clear the air about what happened in my office a couple weeks ago?"

Skinner answered cautiously. "It's one of the reasons I asked you out here today."

Mulder looked back out at the river and Skinner sat up and joined him. "Look Mulder, I don't want to play games with you. I have an idea of why you 'freaked out' as you put it. I suspect it has something to do with your relationship with Patterson. Yes, I'd like to hear the details. I'm not asking out of some type of morbid curiosity and I'm not asking as your supervisor. I'm asking as a friend, as someone who cares about you."

Mulder sat very still, eyes still trained on the river in the distance. "Cares how, sir?"

Skinner's voice had changed from his usual office authoritativeness. It was softer to listen to, hypnotic, as if each word was drawn from deep inside and caressed before being released into the air. "Someone who cares enough to find out what scared you. Mulder, that kiss - I'd like to try it again without the fear."

Mulder caught his breath and turned his head sharply towards his boss. Hope and disbelief mingled in his eyes. "I can't believe you're saying all this to me. Sir, that night, when I told you that the kiss was unexpected. I should have emphasized it was *completely* unexpected. I'm sure there are rumors around the Bureau about me, that I'm gay or bi. I even get hit on once in awhile. But I'm fairly sure no one's ever so much as raised an eyebrow about your sexual orientation. And even setting that aside, why now, with me?"

//Way to go, Skinner. Talk about sending one of your agents into a tailspin. You better handle this right, or you're going to have one hell of a messed up Mulder on your hands.// He started to reach out to the man next to him, then thought better of it and dropped his hand.

"Mulder, you're never far from my mind. I don't have an explanation for the timing. When I went down to your office I really did only want to see if I could mend the rift between you and Scully. But then, after we talked, you kissed my hand and I was touching you. I didn't think about it; you were just in my arms." 

Skinner paused. "Next time you end up in my arms, and I fervently hope this conversation is leading to a next time, I want both of us to have thought about it. I particularly do not want it to end with you looking at me like you did that night. And don't call me "sir." While we're out of the office, call me Walter, or Skinner if you prefer to stick with last names."

The young man stared at his boss and his face was as serious as Skinner had ever seen it. He seemed to have gone deep inside himself. It occurred to Skinner that for someone who emoted as much as Fox Mulder, he could be awfully difficult to read at times.

Skinner's voice was very quiet when he spoke again. "You said that night that the kiss wasn't unwelcome. If you'd like to take that back, I'll understand."

Mulder's eyes refocused with sudden clarity. "I don't want to take it back. Sir, Skinner, Walter, " he ran down the list of names, trying to find one that fit comfortably, "I've thought about that kiss too. Every night. And before that, before it happened for real, I use to think about what it would be like. With you."

More than anything Skinner wanted to reach out and touch the man next to him, have some type of physical contact. But despite his words, Mulder still sat defensively, with his legs crossed and drawn up, arms resting on the knees. He turned his head to look at Skinner occasionally, but mostly he stared into the distance, at the river or its opposite shore.

"There are a million reasons why we shouldn't pursue this, Mulder. But there's only one thing really stopping us. It's the same thing that stopped us that night in the office. Tell me about you and Patterson, Mulder. Please. I have a feeling it's important that I understand what happened with the two of you."

Mulder nodded almost absently and stared at the river some more, sorting through memories, deciding where to start. "Bill and I never saw eye to eye. I took some classes from him at Quantico of course. We all did back then. After I started in Violent Crimes he sought me out, and we began talking, off-hours. Theoretical debates on how to work up a profile. That's how it began, intellectual discussions that moved into the bedroom."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Looking back now, I can see that for him, moving our relationship into the bedroom was his way of gaining the upper hand. He couldn't dominate me in the workplace so he did it there. I didn't make the connection. For me it was just a new and titillating sexual adventure. I'd never tried any bondage/ discipline before. I loved it. It was addictive."

Skinner saw Mulder glance at him to see how he was reacting to all this. "So how far did you go?"

"Once I discovered how much I was turned on by giving control over to another person, I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to do everything and Bill was willing to do everything to me. We were pushing my limits fast, with every session. We rarely had, uh, conventional sex. And we never talked anymore. But at the time I didn't even think about that."

Mulder was speaking slower with every word and Skinner knew they were getting close to what had landed him in the hospital.

"What was going on with the two of you at work?" he asked.

"Well, Bill wasn't my direct supervisor. He was a more experienced agent and worked in a different division. But he liked to give advice. It wasn't until later that I realized how bitter he was that I didn't agree with his methods of investigation and that my own methods worked as well as, or better, than his." Mulder stood and retrieved a Frisbee that had landed close by and tossed it back to the group of college kids who had let it get loose. 

He sat back down, holding himself tensely as he continued. "I went over to his house on a Friday night which was typical. It all started out like it normally did. He restrained me." Mulder held up his wrists. "One to each eyebolt in the ceiling. But instead of the usual games, he punched me. A gut punch. I didn't have good balance because of the way I was tied. He'd never hit me before, not like that. But then he began something gentle. Stuff that he knew I liked, that turned me on. I forgot about that first punch." Skinner could see tremors running through Mulder's body and his sentences became choppy. "He was talking to me. Nice at first then angry. Gentle caresses then hitting me. Angry with me for what I was doing with my career. Angry that the X-files had been approved. I didn't really follow what he was saying after awhile. Most of the punches hit my ribs and gut, a couple to the face. I managed to work my left arm free. He was livid. Completely out of control. He twisted my arm up behind my back and held it there. Still yelling at me, standing behind me. Then," Mulder took a deep breath, "then he swept my legs. He yanked up my arm as I went down. It snapped. I heard it break. I was still hanging from my right wrist from the ceiling."

Mulder was quiet for awhile then and Skinner reached out tentatively to touch him. When Mulder didn't draw away he pulled the young man close to him, laying on his back and bringing Mulder's head down on his chest. They lay like that for a couple minutes then Mulder turned onto his back and lay perpendicular to Skinner, using the larger man's ribcage to prop up his head. Skinner tucked their gym bags under his own head and started to lightly run his fingers up and down Mulder's arm seeking to comfort and reassure. He laced his fingers through Mulder's smaller ones and held them as the young man finished his story.

"I guess the sound of my arm breaking brought Patterson back to his senses. I'm not sure exactly what happened next because I blacked out for awhile. When I came back around, I was alone, lying on the floor. I just laid there until I started thinking about the fact that Patterson would eventually return since it was his house. That more than anything cleared my head enough for me to get dressed and out of there. I walked to the nearest Metro and took it to D.C. General. I figured a city hospital ER on a Friday night wouldn't ask too many questions. Along the way I devised a story of being in a fight at a nightclub. It wasn't like there was anyone I could tell about what really happened."

Skinner knew they were still in the park. He could feel the sun warming them, the thick cool grass and the light breeze that came across the river once in awhile. Could hear the sounds of other people in the park, probably not that far away. But all he could see was Mulder as he must have looked that night on the subway. Bloodied, dazed, cradling a broken arm, coming up with a story to replace the one he could never tell. He squeezed Mulder's hand just to reassure himself the young man was still here, in one piece.

"Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

Mulder shrugged. "No."

"Before that night, when you and Patterson played, did you have a safeword?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever use it?"

"Before that night? No."

"But you used it when he started punching you."

"Yes. But it didn't matter. It wasn't about sex that night for him. He wasn't playing, and nothing I said would have stopped him. But yeah, I used it. It didn't mean anything to him."

"What was your safeword, Mulder?"

Mulder stiffened and started to sit up but Skinner squeezed his hand tightly. "It's okay, you don't have to answer." He said quickly.

Mulder relaxed back against him. "What else?"

"Since that night, what have you...? Um, have you had any other relationships?"

Mulder was slower to answer this time. Skinner continued the reassuring caress along his arm. Up the soft, rough texture of the hairs on the outside of the arm and down the delicate smoothness of the inner arm. Mulder shivered whenever Skinner circled the inside of the elbow. Then down to link fingers again. 

"I've had...encounters. Nothing you could call long term. I've never given up control to anyone again. No bondage. Even with men, I always topped. Something I hadn't done before."

"So have you thought about what scared you when I kissed you?"

"Yes." Mulder gave a self-deprecating laugh. "I was a psych major, remember? I know exactly what's going on in my head." More laughter at himself. Skinner was uneasy at the sound. "That night I brought Krycek to your apartment, when you manhandled him out to your balc..."

Skinner forgot everything he'd told himself about patience and giving Mulder space. Sitting up swiftly he grabbed Mulder's shoulders and spun the man around to face him. "I would never hurt you that way, *never.* If you think..."

"It turned me on." Mulder interrupted Skinner's rant. "That's what scared me Walter. That seeing you like that turned me on. At that moment I wanted you to be that way with me. Masterful, in control, doing whatever you wanted with my body. And me letting you. And that's what scared me in the office. I was kissing the one person I'd willingly give up control to; something I'd sworn never to do again. Until that night with Krycek it didn't even occur to me that I could be turned on in that way again."

Skinner stared at Mulder. The kid had finally shocked him. He'd been somewhat mentally prepared for everything else he'd heard that day, but not for what Mulder had just said. Would he ever understand this intriguing and complex man?

Mulder shifted self-consciously as the silence continued. "This must sound pretty weird coming from me, huh? I mean, I've certainly taken worse beatings since Patterson's and have handed out a few myself."

"Not from someone you trusted and not to someone who trusted you." Skinner spoke automatically, mind still backtracking over everything Mulder had said. He watched his companion closely. "Can I make the assumption that since you're now telling me all this, you're willing to, to explore what we started in your office a few weeks ago?"

"Yeah." Mulder took a deep breath and let it out shakily. "Yeah." His voice cracked over the word; he bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut. "O god Walter, I made it through all that without, told you everything without.." he swiped his eyes over the sleeve of his shirt, "and now I'm going to...it's just reaction, because I never talk about this..."

"Sshh" Skinner drew Mulder into his arms and kissed his temple then lay down, settling Mulder's head on his stomach. Mulder burrowed into the warm hardness and Skinner stroked his hair. 

Mulder cried silently for awhile, and Skinner continued the petting, speaking reassuringly now and then, but mostly just touching Mulder, one hand running through the agent's hair, the other stroking up and down his back. Eventually the tears stopped, and Skinner felt Mulder dry his face on his sweatshirt. Then felt him lift his head and grab the sweatshirt, twisting it around.

"What are you?..unh" Skinner's breath whooshed out as Mulder's head dropped heavily back onto his stomach.

"Just looking for a dry spot." Mulder spoke sleepily, arms curling around the larger man again, for all the world like he was clutching a pillow. His breath relaxed into deep, even sleep rhythms.

"Make yourself at home." Skinner thought wryly. He repositioned the gym bags under his head and laid back, replaying Mulder's revelations through his mind. Eventually he too drifted into a light sleep.

\------------------------------------------------

Potomac Overlook Park  
(cont.)

Dana Scully wheeled her bike next to her as she walked over the lawn and scanned the park goers. Mulder had mentioned the previous day that AD Skinner and he were meeting here for a run. He'd seemed nervous at the prospect, inasmuch as Mulder ever conveyed nervousness. Still, after four years, she knew. Then he'd suggested, albeit indirectly, that she stop by today. "You know Scully, the heritage trail connects with that park. Since you said you were taking your bike out anyway, you might want to check it out."

So here she was. Skinner had almost surely brought her partner here with the intention of discussing Patterson with him. She thought about that and what it could mean. Her boss had said he had personal reasons for wanting information on Mulder and Patterson's relationship. At the time she'd thought he simply meant he was checking up on her partner's well being beyond what would normally be expected of an assistant director. That didn't surprise her. She'd lost count of the number of times the AD had given her the "Keep an eye on him" command either explicitly or implicitly.

Taking a look around her now, she wasn't so sure that Skinner's reasons were quite as one-dimensional as she'd imagined. While this park didn't have the openness of the District's Rock Creek, there was a definite cruisy feel to it. It hardly seemed possible, but...she tried for a picture of AD Skinner and Mulder together and couldn't come up with one that worked. Not surprising, plus her boss had been married for over a decade, right? Next she tried for a mental image of Skinner and his ex-wife Sharon together and failed *that* too. She went back to the Skinner and Mulder image. Maybe not impossible.

And maybe she should turn around and head home right now. She sighed to herself. Both Mulder and Skinner had indirectly drawn her into whatever was going on between the two of them. She just wished she knew what exactly *was* going on.

\------------------------------------------------

Skinner woke suddenly and sought the source of what had disturbed him. Someone was approaching and it sounded like they were walking a bike. He was still flat on his back and Mulder was still curled around his abdomen like a lazy cat, sleeping deeply. Skinner kept his eyes closed and waited for sounds that would indicate the cyclist had changed course to go around the two sleeping men.

He cracked an eye open and turned his head in time to see Dana Scully laying her bike down in the grass. "Hi," she said quietly as she approached. "Mulder told me the two of you would be out here today."

He propped himself up on an elbow, trying to shift Mulder as little as possible so that he wasn't disturbed. Scully removed her bike helmet and dropped to the grass, imitating the larger man's position. She didn't speak and Skinner, unaccountably, felt the need to fill the silence.

"So I take it you didn't attend Patterson's funeral today either?"

"No." Scully shook her head and held a hand up in front of her. "I went and had my nails done." Four fingers bearing short nails and clear polish extended beyond the red webbing of the bicycle glove she was wearing. 

Her gaze rested on her sleeping partner. "Did Mulder tell you about he and Patterson?"

"He told me enough." 

Skinner's voice sounded grittier than usual and Scully turned to look at him. What she saw convinced her that it was probably just as well for Patterson that he was already dead.

"What did Mulder tell you?" he asked.

"Just that they were involved in an intimate relationship that turned abusive." Scully reached up and adjusted the clip holding her hair at the back of her neck. "He probably didn't tell you this but he got some counseling to deal with what happened. Not right away. After working with Patterson on the Mostow case." Scully laced her fingers together. "He was pretty wigged out after that. I threatened to go to you with my concerns if he didn't deal with whatever his issue with Patterson was. That's when he filled me in on their personal relationship. I think he felt guilty for awhile. Like he should have known Patterson had the potential to become a killer."

Scully cleared her throat. "I wouldn't normally share something like that with anyone. But I thought you should know. I mean I feel safe in the field with him. He's doing fine."

"Is he?" Skinner's hand continued to rest possessively on Mulder's back.

"Well, he seems more centered lately." Scully searched around for another topic of conversation. "Has he been sleeping long?"

"No. And I don't want to disturb him yet. I get the feeling he doesn't sleep well. Or often."

Scully smiled, looked uncomfortable, then smiled again. "I guess you'll find out."

Skinner was a bit nonplussed. The fact that Agent Scully would likely be privy to much of his and Mulder's relationship was not something he'd given a lot of thought. He again looked at the man sleeping against him. Complex. Nothing about this was going to be simple.

"You two done talking about me?" Mulder made a show of yawning and stretching as he pushed off the larger man. Skinner wondered how long he'd been awake. 

A low wolf whistle cut the air when he spotted his partner. "Wow, Scully, you look good in bike shorts."

"Shut up, Mulder." For a second Skinner thought Scully was actually going to stick her tongue out at Mulder in response to his teasing. But she laughed instead and accepted Mulder's hand as he pulled her up. The two of them continued teasing each other as they all collected their stuff. Scully mounted her bike and snapped her helmet back on.

"Would you like a lift back to your apartment, Agent Scully?"

"No, thank you, sir. It's not that far and besides, it still feels good to be able to do this type of thing again."

Skinner nodded at her and watched as Mulder left him to walk down to the bike path with Scully. His two agents talked for a couple minutes out of his earshot. Skinner could see Mulder shivering. The wind was picking up, and it was getting cooler now that the sun was dropping. 

Once Scully had ridden off, Mulder and Skinner headed for the parking lot. "Is she going to be okay with this? The two of you still have to work together. I'm not sure she..."

"She's fine." Mulder smiled as he interrupted. "She says it's like thinking about her parents or her brothers and that lovey-dovey stuff. You know it happens, but you just don't want to know the details."

"She actually said 'lovey-dovey'?"

Mulder laughed. "Yeah."

They reached Mulder's car and Skinner surprised him by pulling him close for a brief, hard kiss. "Come over to my place tonight. 8PM."

\------------------------------------------------

Skinner's apartment  
7:40 PM

"Hi." 

Mulder was standing in his doorway well before 8 o'clock with a backpack over one shoulder and holding out a bottle of wine. 

*Thank god he didn't back out.* was followed immediately by a startling *He looks incredibly fuckable.* Skinner didn't know why the thought surprised him. Ever since he'd acknowledged his desire for his young subordinate, he'd been increasingly unable to control these types of thoughts. It was as if years of denial had broken through to his consciousness, the accumulated thoughts and images running rampant the last two weeks. Skinner noticed Mulder was struggling to hold onto his smile.

"Sorry, my mind wandered. Come in."

He accepted the wine bottle and stepped back to allow Mulder to precede him into the apartment. Mulder hesitated in the living room, unsure what to do. Skinner walked over and removed his backpack, dropping it onto a chair, then turned the other man toward him.

His hands lingered over the silky feel of Mulder's shirt, running from shoulders to wrists and back up, the gentle musculature clearly felt under the thin material. "Mulder, regarding what you told me this afternoon, I want you to know that I'm never going to do anything to you that you don't want just as much as I. Now, we can go as slow as you need to, and I don't have a problem with you setting the pace, but right now," his voice lowered as he spoke and he squeezed the taller man's shoulders lightly, "I would very much like to kiss you."

Skinner watched Mulder's pupils dilate at his words, saw him wet his lips as they parted. When the young man raised his arms and touched his waist, Skinner groaned and cupped Mulder's head, pulling him into the kiss. Their mouths opened against each other hungrily, exploring without finesse or technique. Hands clutched and caressed, roaming from shoulders to legs and back up again. As passion rose their hips connected and pressed. Skinner backed Mulder toward the couch. They tumbled onto it without breaking contact, Skinner pulling the lighter man down on top of him. Mulder began rubbing his entire body against Skinner's solid frame, compulsive little whimpers emanating from his throat. The older agent recognized it had been a long time since anyone had held the man, maybe even longer than it had been for him.

Mulder seemed to have immersed himself in a cloud of sensation and emotion that left no room for thought or discretion. As much as Skinner wanted to follow him, he thought for right now that it would be best if one of them held onto reality a little longer. He began little bites along Mulder's throat, found a nipple under the thin shirt and pinched hard, then rubbed the soft material over it. Mulder moaned. 

"You like this? You want more?" Mulder nodded rapidly, hips thrusting desperately against Skinner's. He abandoned the neck and moved his lips lower, tipping their bodies so that Mulder was encased between him and the back of the couch. His lips found the light smattering of hair revealed above the open buttons of the silk shirt and he ran his tongue wetly over the soft tufts. Two hands came up to gently hold his head. Skinner could feel them trembling as they pulled him upward and Mulder sought his lips. 

"I need this so much, sir." Skinner frowned at the "sir" but let it pass as Mulder kissed him. That soft mouth pulled at him, needy and seeking, begging for something he could only hope he had the power to give the young man. 

He felt Mulder riding his hip again and shifted his body so that both their erections had the relief of friction against the other. Mulder released his lips and panted, pushing himself against Skinner more urgently. The older man couldn't remember ever feeling so aware of what another person was experiencing. His entire focus had become simply to pleasure Mulder, to watch this incredibly responsive man come apart in his arms. 

Skinner was amazed and awed at Mulder's ability to give himself so completely over to passion. His hand traveled down to Mulder's belt and pants, releasing the young man's erection into his hand. He grasped it lightly, intending only to explore the heavy length of it but Mulder was too far gone to allow such gentle caresses. He thrust forcefully into Skinner's hand his moans taking on a pleading quality.

"Okay Mulder, okay" Skinner easing him again, pushing him up and stripping his pants down at the same time. He slipped off the couch and knelt in front of Mulder, pulling off the pants, taking socks and shoes with them. The younger man lifted his hands to remove his shirt but Skinner stopped him. "Leave it. I like the way it feels."

Skinner looked up at Mulder from where he was kneeling and couldn't believe they had gotten to this point so quickly. Mulder looked almost drugged, he was so aroused. He watched as his companion thrust his hips upwards, silently begging to be touched again. 

The first time, Skinner thought. This is the first time for the two of us together. No matter what happens after this, however long our association lasts or what direction the relationship takes, we'll always remember this first night together.

With that thought in mind, Skinner turned his head and dragged his mouth up the inside of the elegant thigh draped over his shoulder. When he reached the top he gave a little nip to get Mulder's attention. Mulder jerked in response and Skinner immediately pushed his tongue out to soothe. Acting on almost a primitive instinct to mark his territory he pushed the long legs farther apart and set his teeth to work on the soft flesh of the upper thigh, purpling the skin in the crease of thigh to hip.

Skinner kept both hands pressed against Mulder's body, feeling for any unnatural tensing or other indication that his companion was not totally engaged in what was happening. That he might inadvertently do something that reminded the young man of Patterson was not far from his mind. The breathing above him continued to sound heavy and uneven while the body below him alternated between limp acquiescence of the sensations his mouth induced to uncontrolled squirms of pleasure. 

Once he was sure Mulder would bear the evidence of their lovemaking for a few days he continued on, his cheek encountering the heavy sacs resting below the thick erection. With a pleasurable sigh he nuzzled in and breathed deeply. So erotic. He loved this part of his own body. Loved holding himself and fingering his balls as he jacked off. He sucked one sac into his mouth, and Mulder rewarded him with a new series of desperate moans. Hands descended onto his shoulders and clutched. Skinner continued upward. He hooked one arm around Mulder then took the straining shaft in his other hand and stroked, wet tongue exploring the shape and texture. Saliva mixed with pre-cum to slicken the shaft. Mulder was breathing harshly now, head thrown back on the couch. 

Despite the increasingly urgent moans sounding above him, Skinner continued his methodical exploration. He stroked his tongue along the underside of Mulder's cock, mapping the length. The young man was extremely hard and Skinner felt his own cock jump in response. Knowing he was the cause of such intense arousal fueled Skinner's own passion. He wrapped his mouth around the head of the stiff shaft and lapped at the dripping fluid, swirling it over his tongue and savoring the taste. 

"It's too much!" Mulder forced the words out between pants when he felt Skinner's mouth finally engulf his cock.

"No. Wait." Skinner squeezed the base of the cock he held, pulling Mulder back from the edge. "Enjoy this a little longer, Mulder." He began again working his way down the thick cock, stroking his mouth up and down a couple times then pushing as far down as he could. This was not something he'd done in awhile, and it took some concentration at first, trying to establish a rhythm while coordinating his lips and tongue and mouth.

Mulder didn't seem to mind the inexpert technique. The noises in the room alternated between begging moans and quick pants, each equally mindless in their expression. Eventually Skinner felt his mouth and throat begin to relax as he established a rhythm. He pulled his mouth off the glistening shaft to address Mulder again. "You like this?"

Mulder began some quick, little thrusts into the air, seeking the hot wetness that had been holding him. "Yes, god yes."

Skinner took Mulder's hands and placed them on his head. "Then use my mouth. Use it like you want to. You're not alone anymore, and you're not using your hand. Use my mouth to make yourself come."

 "Oh my god." Mulder's body spasmed at the words and he tightened his fingers around Skinner's head, forcing it down as his hips thrust up. " Oh, god." He held Skinner's head immobile as he fucked into the older man's mouth and Skinner responded by wrapping both arms around the body bucking against him. He heard Mulder begin a litany of declarations above him. "This is too good. Oh, god. It's too good; I'm not going to be able to... I can't..." Words disappeared into harsh breathes until Mulder froze, then let out a sobbing laugh and came, his release pouring into Skinner's mouth. 

The deliciously salty taste flooded his mouth and he swallowed it down, along with the urge to cough. The first time, he thought again. The hands clasping his head gentled as Mulder's orgasm subsided. Skinner released the softening cock from his mouth and leaned his head against a warm leg while they both caught their breath. After a moment he reached down to snag Mulder's boxers off the floor and used them to wipe up the excess cum. "You okay, Mulder?"

Skinner moved back onto the couch next to where the young man was lying bonelessly against the cushions and queried again. "Mulder?"

Skinner watched Mulder closely as he lifted his head off the couch and looked at him, a lazy smile pulling at his lips. "That was incredible." 

Deep brown eyes searched dreamy hazel ones, watched them shift and turn troubled. Mulder reached down to the floor for his slacks and pulled them back on.

//Shit.// Skinner frowned and touched Mulder's forearm. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Little tremors ran through Mulder's body. Skinner could feel the shivers under his fingertips where they rested on the slim arm. The agent's voice was husky when he spoke. "Will you hold me for a little while?"

Skinner drew Mulder back down onto him again, placing the taller man's head on his shoulder. His legs tangled with Mulder's as he wrapped his arms tightly around the younger agent, holding him close in a way he hadn't been able to do in the park this afternoon. "Better?"

"Yeah." Mulder picked at the buttons on Skinner's shirt. "You still have your clothes on."

"So do you now. Mostly." He waited for Mulder to share his thoughts with him, but the man was so quiet for so long that Skinner almost wondered if he'd fallen asleep. Only the tenseness of the body he held convinced him Mulder was still awake.

Eventually Mulder spoke again. "What we just did, the way it happened. That's what scares me. The way I can get so totally into it that I'm completely unaware of anything else. It's like another part of my brain takes over. I haven't felt like that for a long time. Didn't allow myself to. And now, I'm in your house five minutes and I'm completely wrapped up in you, in us, in what we're doing. You could have done anything to me."

Skinner held Mulder closer. His instinct was to protest again that he'd never harm the man he now held in his arms, but he knew that wasn't, exactly, what his agent needed to hear right then.

"Mulder, do you trust me?"

"Yes." he pushed up and looked into Skinner's eyes, frustration clouding his voice. "Yes, I know it sounds like I don't, but I never would have told you about Patterson or even come over here tonight if I didn't trust you. I just...it's hard to explain."

"Then Mulder, trust yourself. You made the right choice. I'm not going to harm you. Not ever. You know that. You've got to trust that knowledge."

Mulder nodded, but he still looked uncertain as he sat up and straightened his clothes. "Didn't know what you were getting when you fell for me did you?"

"Hey." Skinner waited until Mulder was looking straight at him. "I feel incredibly honored that you're with me tonight. And incredibly lucky. I've seen in a thousand different ways how special you are and it truly humbles me to have you here, to hold you, to kiss you. Whatever we have to do to get past Patterson, we'll find a way to do. I promise."

Mulder was blushing deeply by the time Skinner finished. "Sheesh Walter." He paused for a moment. "Thanks."

Skinner smiled. "I was fixing dinner when you arrived. Why don't you go clean up then come down and help me finish?"

Mulder started up the stairs then returned for his backpack. "Hey Walter."

Skinner looked up from where he'd begun chopping vegetables in the kitchen.

"Think you could remember some of that 'incredibly lucky' stuff when I submit next year's budget request?"

Skinner glowered.

"Just kidding, big guy."

"Mmm, smells Italian." Mulder hovered appreciatively over the pots on the stove. "Spaghetti?"

"Capellini al Pomodoro."

Mulder straightened and looked at Skinner in surprise. "You're kidding."

Skinner handed Mulder a cheese grater and block of Parmesan. "Here. Grate some and slice some." Mulder took the items and joined Skinner in the dinner preparations.

"You familiar with Boston's North End, Mulder?"

"Best Italian food in the country."

"Well, you're in for a treat. This dinner is direct from Ferdinand Vario's recipe book."

"Ferdinand Vario? You mean of Ristorante Vario?"

Skinner smiled smugly.

"Uh-uh. Now I know you're kidding. Why the hell would he give you a recipe? How do you even know about the restaurant?"

"Well the recipe story is rather involved, but the abbreviated version is that I did a fairly lengthy stint of undercover work with the Martignetti crime family in the '80s. Most of their operations were in New York and Boston. I got to be pretty familiar with the business establishments in Little Italy and the North End."

Mulder took that in. "The Martignettis. One of four major east coast crime families during the '70s and '80s. The Bureau brought them down back in '88, along with a lot of other organized crime figures. It was a huge PR coup for the FBI. I didn't know you were part of that operation."

"Well, my cover was pretty deep. And we didn't get them all. Don Martignetti managed to elude capture."

Mulder laughed. "You were a wiseguy."

Skinner shrugged. "I started out as a mechanic and we just got lucky. The Martignetti's did not have the advantage of having any real bright kids coming up the ladder. At that time organized crime was moving beyond neighborhood extortion and gambling rackets and into the stock market - junk bonds, 'pump and dump' scams. The Martignetti's wanted to hang on to their little piece of power. And make money, of course. They compromised. I wasn't blood but I was smart and they trusted me. What started out as an 8 month undercover operation turned into 8 years."

Their conversation was interrupted when the capellini demanded Skinner's attention. Mulder sat at the counter and watched his boss move around the kitchen. He had the same economy of movement he used in the office; he still gave the impression of being completely aware of everything that was going on, yet was entirely focused on whomever he was talking with. But here at home the impression was muted, softer. 

"You know, I'm not a selfish lover."

Skinner set the bowl of pasta he was draining down with a thud and turned to find Mulder standing close to him, just inside his personal space. "What are you talking about, Mulder?"

Mulder reached out and cupped a hand over Skinner's crotch, pressed and rubbed. "I'm not a selfish lover. Earlier, on the couch, I know you didn't come." 

He felt Skinner start to harden beneath his hand. He pressed closer and leaned forward to nuzzle Skinner's neck. "I could take care of you now." he breathed into Skinner's ear.

The older man's breathing shallowed. Mulder's mouth continued working on his neck. He knew Mulder was leaving marks and that he would regret not calling an end to this caress when he dressed for work on Monday, but, hell, it just felt too good right now. He tipped his head back to allow greater access. Mulder tugged open the top button of Skinner's jeans and started to drop to his knees, but Skinner caught him and pulled him back up. "I'll wait 'til after dinner."

A flash of hurt crossed Mulder's face and Skinner leaned forward to kiss him. "This isn't a rejection Mulder." His voice dropped. "I like being hard. And I like to wait. Understand?"

Heat liquefied in Mulder's gut. Skinner enjoyed having arousal lapping at his consciousness. Liked for it to stay there, shadowing him as he went about his everyday activities. He teased himself with it, probably enjoyed feeling the semi-erectness of his cock from time to time during the day. Mulder smiled a little to himself as the picture slipped into place. "You're a sensualist aren't you, Walter? You like this silky shirt I'm wearing. You liked touching me this afternoon, running your hand along my arm, through my hair. But you have a lot of self-discipline. You don't indulge the sensuality very often, do you? That's how you tease yourself."

Skinner's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to push Mulder out of his space. "Are you profiling me, Mulder?"

"Just making observations. Is dinner ready?"

Then he was gone. Grabbing the wine bottle and pouring some into each of the wineglasses set on the table. Skinner shivered, as if Mulder's departure had actually caused the room temperature to drop. 

Dinner turned out to be pleasantly relaxing. They avoided heavy topics of conversation, instead trading stories about Boston. Skinner described some of the characters he'd met in his undercover work, impressing Mulder with his Sicilian accent. Mulder talked about his very early childhood, about the occasional day trip to Boston with his father, seeing his first Celtics game, riding the swan boats with Samantha in the public gardens. 

At some point during the meal Skinner realized Mulder was flirting with him. He didn't approach him again, but he drew Skinner's attention to everything he touched. They talked and Skinner watched Mulder's fingers as they rested on his water goblet, tracing the rim, running down the stem of cut glass and back up, around the rim of the glass again then cupping it, lifting it to his lips for a drink. He watched Mulder's hand as it rested on the tablecloth, watched the fingers absently tracing the pattern. And his own fingertips tingled with the sensation of whatever object Mulder touched. It shouldn't have been sexy, observing this casual touching of everyday, inanimate things, but it was. It was sexy because Mulder intended it to be. Mulder's voice whispered in his head. *You're a sensualist, aren't you Walter?*

When they were done, when the leftover food had been cleared, dishes cleaned and kitchen restored to order, Skinner realized that Mulder had quietly taken charge. His entire focus was on his agent, watching for the next slight move Mulder would make to tease him, waiting to feel what Mulder felt. "Still hard Walter?"

Mulder pressed his hand against the ridge outlined in Skinner's jeans, making the question rhetorical. "Let's go upstairs."

Skinner nodded a little bemusedly and followed his guest up to his own bedroom. Mulder undressed him when they got there. Starting with the jeans, he pulled open the buttons and untucked Skinner's shirt, pulling it off over his head. He admired Skinner for a few moments just visually. Stared at the crinkly hair covering his chest and tapering down to disappear inside his jeans. Licked his lips at the sharp V of his upper body. Broad shoulders cutting to deep chest cutting to rippled torso. Mulder placed his hands against Skinner's stomach and pushed, felt the responding flex of the abs, then ran his hands up over the chest, thumbpads grazing nipples, up to his shoulders and down the back. 

One hand came back around and gripped Skinner's cock, loosening it from the jeans while the other kneaded the firm ass. Skinner's entire focus was on the hand stroking his cock. Finally. He started to push Mulder down to his knees but Mulder stepped back this time. "Finish undressing and sit on the bed."

Skinner hesitated before complying. That had sounded suspiciously like an order. He wasn't use to taking a passive role in lovemaking. Then again he'd never thought his subordinate would be so deliberately seductive. He fit this revelation in with everything else he'd learned today. Mulder withdrew a tube of lubricant and a condom from his backpack and tossed them onto the bed next to Skinner.

"Touch yourself if you want." Mulder whispered as he stood in front of Skinner and started to undress. Skinner's hand wrapped itself around his cock as Mulder slipped out of his clothes - and began talking.

"I've thought about this, sir. About doing this in your office for you. Stripping because you asked me to. Because you ordered me to." Mulder undid the cuffs of the silk shirt and lifted his hands to loose the buttons over his chest. The soft folds of the sleeves slipped up his arms revealing the pale skin and fine hair along his wrists.

"Just you and me in your office, with you sitting behind your desk. I'd be wearing a suit, of course, so this would take a lot longer." Skinner lightly stroked his cock as Mulder built an image in his mind to compliment the one appearing right in front of him. The shirt whispered to the floor. Skinner's mouth went dry as he watched that pale skin slowly revealed; the narrow column of chest hair appeared to be just as soft as the brown locks on the young man's head. His palms tingled with the desire to touch.

"The office lighting is dim, like it is in here. I can't see you very well. But I know you're stroking yourself. I can hear the sounds. I can hear your breathing turn heavy when you see how hard I am." 

Skinner's focus skittered between the office fantasy and the real life image standing in front of him. He could still hardly believe Mulder was here before him, unfastening his slacks and pulling them off, one bare foot sweeping the pile of clothing to the side. Mulder. In his bedroom. It was like unwrapping a present and discovering he'd been given the one gift he'd always wanted, but never thought he'd receive. 

"Have you ever thought about it? About us doing this in your office?"

Skinner was still mesmerized by the show Mulder was putting on for him. The young man stood naked before him now, allowing him to look his fill. Skinner realized his agent was actually waiting for an answer. His vocal chords could only find their lowest range and the words rasped out. "Yes. I've thought about it. Just like you described."

Mulder knelt in front of his new lover. "What would you make me do next? If we were in the office?"

Skinner was tempted. Tempted to continue the office fantasy where he was in charge, a much more natural role for him. 

He looked at the man kneeling in front of him. Really looked. This wasn't just some club kid looking for a rough lover. For all his fidgety, impatient mannerisms, his erratic thinking and outlandish ideas, Mulder was a full-grown, mature man. You could see the years in his face if you chose to look. "This is your show Mulder. We're not in the office. What do you want to do next?"

Surprise showed briefly on the young man's face. He obviously hadn't expected that answer. "Are you sure? I didn't think you'd let me take it this far."

"Believe me, I have no complaints about where you're taking this. Keep going."

Mulder rose and caught the older man's face between hands. Skinner could feel Mulder's lips curve into a smile as they kissed. "I want to touch you." Good choice, Skinner thought. He closed his eyes as the young man knelt behind him on the bed. "Your body is so fantastic." Warm hands ran over his shoulders and sneaked under his arms to rove the front of his torso. He felt the hard length of Mulder's cock press into his back and rock into him.

One stubbly cheek rested on his scalp as Mulder caressed him and the unusual sensation was somehow as arousing as the small hand now pulling on his cock. Well, smaller than his own. He could get use to this, he thought. Having Mulder draped around him, exploring him with this odd mixture of appreciative wonder and seductive intent.

Strong arms tugged him back and further up on the bed, turning him so that he was covered by the younger man. His hands filled with an endless expanse of naked flesh and he explored, hands and lips seeking whatever part of Mulder was most available. When their lips finally reconnected Skinner threaded a hand through soft brown hair and held firmly. He needed a long taste. Mobile lips warmly invited him in and he heard himself moan at the sweet generosity of it. Touch. Smell. Mulder was making himself completely available to him and Walter Skinner felt his self-control begin to unravel. He cupped his larger hands over Mulder's ass and squeezed, pulling the young man hard against him. His erection sought the firm friction of Mulder's body and he pumped against him, a haze of desire clouding his mind as he sought relief.

"Not yet, Walter, not yet. There's so much more for you to feel." Firm hands stilled his thrusts. His breath caught and held when he felt Mulder roll him onto his side and kiss his way down his back, scooting lower and lower on the bed. Skinner felt the feather light touch of lips over the small of his back then wet traces of tongue over the curve of his hips.

*Oh don't stop, please don't stop* he prayed silently and shivered in relief and anticipation as Mulder continued down, hands parting the muscular globes of his ass. 

"Ohh." The moan was both deep and thready into the mattress as Skinner felt Mulder's tongue circle and wet the tight hole. He couldn't move, wasn't even sure if he was breathing. His world consisted only of Mulder's tongue as it licked and pushed at him. The last of his rational thought slid away as he gave himself over to the sensation. He drew in a deep breath when Mulder moved away, recognized that his heart was still beating then felt it trip hammer as a lubed finger circled him and pushed in. "Mulder." Was that his voice sounding so hoarse?

"I'm with you Walter." Mulder pressed some kisses onto Skinner's back as he worked a second finger in. "You're very tight." he said softly.

Mulder withdrew his fingers, added some more lube, then slowly reinserted them and stroked. "Aaah, jesus, Mulder" Skinner pushed back against Mulder's hand as the fingers stretched him, opened him up. "It's been a long time."

Mulder pressed himself along the larger man as he continued working his fingers in and out of Skinner. "Do you know how incredible you're going to feel, Walter, when I'm inside you?"

The young man withdrew his hand again and Skinner bit back a moan of disappointment. He felt Mulder scrape something down his arm and turned his head to look at him. "How do you want to do this, Walter?" Mulder was holding the condom's foil packet.

Skinner took his meaning. He rolled onto his back in answer, and Mulder moved between his legs, rolling the condom on. Skinner watched Mulder as he prepared the two of them, slicking lubricant over the condom and reaching down to finger Skinner's ass one more time.

"No more waiting, Mulder. Fuck me."

Mulder's eyes connected with Skinner's and he nodded, his own face heavy with passion. Placing his cock against the tight ring of muscle, Mulder pushed. Skinner's eyes closed at the pleasurable pain of the entrance and he brought a hand up to hold his now straining cock. How could he possibly have forgotten how good this felt? Then again, maybe it never had felt this good. Mulder was proceeding slowly, obviously gauging his lover's enjoyment.

Mulder paused when he was all the way in and Skinner moaned in frustration. "Don't stop now. Make me feel it. Make me feel all of it."

Mulder's hips jerked in response to the words. "Ah, jesus. Why do you do that? I don't want to go too fast here." He began slow pumps into the man below him.

Skinner groaned. He felt a slick hand encircle his cock and push his own hand away. His fingers curled into the bedding. He was completely dependent upon Mulder now for his pleasure and the lack of control was unnervingly erotic. Mulder pressed forward bracing himself on one arm over the larger man. "Are you finally going to come, Walter?" he panted out between harsh breathes. 

//Yes// Skinner thought. He listened to Mulder coaxing him from above. "Here. Come in my hand. You like the way my hand feels on you, Walter? That's it. Push into it. Oh god, your ass is so tight Walter." This last was followed by some thrusts deeper and faster than before.

Skinner stiffened momentarily at the words and then came, thick spurts shooting into Mulder's hand and over his stomach and chest. The muscles in his ass contracted with each shot and Mulder shuddered, losing his steady rhythm. The younger man's orgasm took him just as Skinner's body went lax beneath him.

"Oh my god." Mulder gave up on bracing himself and collapsed against Skinner's damp chest as he caught his breath. Strong arms wrapped around him while he recovered.

"Don't fall asleep." the slurred, gravelly voice rumbled in his ear.

"No." Mulder slipped out of Skinner and stripped off the condom, then knelt on the bed as he looked around for a trash can.

"Next to the desk."

Mulder tossed the rubber onto the floor. "No way can I walk that far." He fell forward again, his head landing on the pillow next to Skinner.

They looked at each other, eyes meeting with the knowledge of what they'd just shared and the older man lifted a hand to gently stroke Mulder's face and hair. "How do you feel?"

Mulder thought for a moment. Thought about where he was and who he was with. Thought about everything that had happened today and tonight. He placed a soft kiss on the palm caressing him. "Safe. Safer than I ever thought I would feel."

Skinner pulled his new lover against his chest and held him, hands roaming leisurely over the smooth skin and soft hair. "We should wash up."

Mulder yawned. "Later." he said sleepily. 

Skinner roused them enough so that they could slip under the covers. As his most special agent fell asleep in his arms for the second time that day, he too thought about where he was and who he was with. Thought about everything that had happened today and tonight. He placed a light kiss on the crown of Mulder's head. Trust. They still had about a million things to discuss, but that most difficult issue had already been breached. He squeezed his arms tighter around Mulder then relaxed into his own sleep. 

End


End file.
